Why Conversations Go Wrong and How to Fix Them
How to Prevent Arguments
5 warning lights that indicate a conversation’s about to go wrong.
In the late 1960’s, a series of catastrophic plane crashes occurred without any apparent awareness of danger on the part of the pilots. In response, the aviation industry introduced an enhanced warning system to alert pilots to danger. For example, if terrain rises significantly within 2,000 feet of the aircraft due to a mountain range, a red warning light flashes and an automated voice will say, ‘Terrain! Terrain!’ The new system improved safety performance overnight.
This set me thinking about an equivalent warning system in the conversational world. While we can’t calculate that we are 2,000 feet from a dispute, we can trigger an internal alert that says, ‘Miscommunication! Miscommunication!’ or, ‘Argument! Argument!’ By noticing and attending to the warning lights in a conversation as they appear – not as an after-thought – we can change the direction of a problematic conversation before things get worse.
