How To Divorce As Peacefully As Possible

No divorce is sweet and rarely is it as amicable as hoped for. Many losses are experienced when ending a relationship, such as the loss of a home, security, finances, comfort, intimacy, etc., just to name a few.

However, there are some strategies that divorcing couples can learn in order to make their departure from the relationship as peaceful and stress-free as possible. By finding successful strategies to deal with the loss and pain, both partners can find an effective pathway to facilitate the process and end up with a peaceful outcome.

Steps

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   Aim to see the positive side to dealing with lawyers and the courts. While this part of divorce proceedings may be stressful, once over this does provide some tangible benefits to the divorce process. Partners are now legally separated from their duties to be responsible for one another. Moreover, the certainty as to assets that arises from the legal process can settle the messiness that emotional attachments create. As part of coping with the legal aspects of divorce, the following considerations will help a more peaceful process for you:
   • Know your legal rights. It is important to know your rights and how to enforce them in relation to property settlement, maintenance, and custody. Knowledge can help to keep you calmer and more at ease about what is happening to you.
   • Find a lawyer you click with. Don't settle for the first one if that lawyer doesn't feel right. Sometimes the strain of divorce can be more than matched by your irritation with your lawyer's antics, so be sure you're happy with this person before agreeing to retaining them. The more aggressive and "take-all" the attitude of your lawyer, the less amicable the settlement process will be, so bear that in mind when choosing one.
   • Consider a mutually lawyer-free divorce. Recognize that a bad divorce lawyer's interest lies in smoothly, calmly sucking you in to a war. Divorces are largely boilerplate; a Google of "divorce for" returns "divorce for dummies" as the first hit.
     • Unfortunately if you have children divorce may be too complicated for the "do it yourself" approach. Good divorce lawyers are not interested in sucking you in to war. They make more money in the long term by providing fast, quality service that leaves you happy with them and willing to refer them to your friends, family and even total strangers. While reading up on how divorce works is a good idea remember that book like "divorce for dummies" are written for a national market. They are not State specific. If you and your spouse are able to reach an agreement on every single aspect of your divorce you can draw up your own paperwork using a form found on the internet but you should at least pay for an hour of an attorney's time to have them review it. This could save you time by having them point out minor mistakes that could prevent the judge from signing your decree. If you have children the situation is even more complicated as there are numerous additional requirements that the State may impose on you that a lawyer can make sure are there and done property. Paying a lawyer for an hour of their time to review your document makes more sense than spending 2 hours at the courthouse just to have the judge tell you there is a flaw in your decree and that she isn't allowed to tell you what it is because that would be giving legal advice and she can't do that.