Everyone has the right to financial independence. If your partner – or someone else – is controlling your money or running up debts in your name, then this is financial abuse. If you’re experiencing financial abuse, there’s no need to struggle on alone. Here are some of the things you can do and where to go for help and support.What is financial abuse?
Perhaps you are experiencing financial abuse within a physically violent
relationship and this might be one of the reasons why you’re finding it
difficult to leave. Financial abuse is actually a form of domestic abuse.
Preventing you from having control over your money is a common way
for abusive partners to exert power over you. Financial abuse in the
home – whether or not it’s accompanied with physical violence – can
leave you feeling isolated, lacking in confidence and trapped.
It can include:
- stopping you from getting (or keeping) a job
- making you hand over your wages or benefits
- making you ask your partner – or others – for money
- making you account for every penny you spend – for example
- by showing receipts
- not allowing you to spend money on yourself or your children
- controlling your bank account
- stealing, taking or demanding money from you
- running up debts in your name
Talk to your partner about changing how you do things
Depending on your situation, you could try suggesting to your partner
that you take a more active role in the household finances and that
you split your income more fairly.
- Our article, Should you manage money jointly or separately?
- gives some useful models for how other couples manage their money.
- If you’ve never had much to do with the household budget, you might
- feel that you need to develop your skills in this area.
- See our article, Beginner’s guide to managing your money.
- It’s probably not going to be easy to raise the subject of money.
- You’ll find some tips and suggestions in our article on
- Talking about money with your partner.
If this doesn’t work, you’ll need to consider your options. It’s really
important to seek advice (see below). Whether you decide to stay
with your partner or split up; the earlier you get advice, the better.
Worried about Universal Credit single payments?
With the introduction of Universal Credit, several existing benefits
and tax credits are being combined into a single monthly payment.
Couples who live together will make a joint claim for Universal Credit
and they will usually be paid into one bank account. (Child Benefit will
remain as a separate benefit outside Universal Credit.)
The Jobcentre Plus will ask you which account you want to have your
money paid into and this can be either a joint account or a single
account in either yours or your partner’s name.
If you and your partner do not agree on an account for your
Universal Credit payments, then the Jobcentre Plus will
nominate one.
If you’re worried about your partner controlling all your benefit
income and leaving you (and your children) without any cash,
you should ask someone at the Jobcentre Plus about having
your Universal Credit paid into your own account or split into
separate payments. That way, you will get the money for yourself
(and your children) and your partner will get a separate
payment. This is an option for anyone in ‘exceptional circumstances’,
for example anyone who is at risk of domestic or financial abuse.
Get advice
Women’s Aid
Women’s Aid can offer help and support if you’re subject to
domestic abuse, including financial abuse. Your local Women's
Aid organisation might also be able to recommend a suitable
solicitor if you need one.
Call the Freephone 24 Hour National Domestic Violence Helpline
(run in partnership between Women's Aid and Refuge) on
0808 2000 247.
If you or your children are in immediate danger,
call the police on 999.
Men's Advice Line
Call the Men's Advice Line on 0808 8010 327. It’s free from landlines
and most mobile phones.
They provide emotional support, practical advice and can signpost you
to other services for specialist help. Alternatively, you can visit
Preparing to leave?
Think of your safety first
There are a series of steps you can take to ensure your safety
and make sure your finances will be as manageable as possible.
- Keep a record of each incident. Take photographs of any physical
- harm to you or your property
- Report each incident to your local police and doctor so that they
- keep a log
- Contact a family law solicitor
- Make a safety plan in case you need to leave your home
- in an emergency
Gather together important paperwork
Try to find:
- passports
- birth certificates (yours and your children’s)
- pay slips and/or benefit award letters
- tax documents, such as your P60 and P45
- your National Insurance number
- bank statements
- documents proving ownership of any belongings
- credit card bills and other bills that are in your name or in joint names
If it’s not possible – or not safe – to take the originals, then try making
copies, or write down key information such as account numbers.
Try to get some money of your own
Build an escape fund. This can be difficult if you have very little access
to money but perhaps you could aim to put small amounts of cash
aside over a period of time. You might need to ask a trusted friend
or family member to look after the money for you. Alternatively you
could set up a new bank account in your name only that your
partner doesn’t know about. Make sure you use a different
bank from the one your partner uses and ask the bank not to
send bank statements to your home address.
Where to get cash in an emergency
If you have to leave in a hurry and you have no access to cash,
contact your local authority (or the devolved administrations in
Scotland and Wales) to see if they can help you with emergency
support
- If you live in England, see this interactive map on the
- Children’s Society website to find your local welfare
- assistance scheme.
- If you live in Scotland, find out whether you can get
- a Crisis Grant from the Scottish Welfare Fund on the
- Scottish Government website.
- If you live in Wales, find out whether you qualify for
- an Emergency Assistance Payment from the Welsh
- Government.
Alternatively, contact your local Jobcentre Plus or Jobs
and Benefits Office. They can help you find out what
help is available in an emergency.
Take control of your financial situation
Women’s Aid have published a ‘Money Issues’ section in their
‘Survivor’s Handbook’.
An abbreviated audio version of ‘The Survivor’s Handbook’ is
available in English and 11 other languages.
Refuge, the charity against domestic violence, has published
a financial guide for women and children fleeing domestic violence.
