As Of Today, I Am Divorced

Here are the facts:

One, I have been living apart from my now ex-husband for two full years.  Therefore, I’ve had some time to get used to this single life and single parenting thing.

And two, I was served with a petition for dissolution of marriage eleven months ago.  Therefore, I’ve had some time to get used to the idea of, you know, actually being divorced.

Except, here’s the thing.  I did not see this coming.  I know, only a crazy person wouldn’t actually expect divorce papers to not end in divorce, but that’s where I’ve been living apparently (in crazy town).

This is really happening

I stood in front of a judge  and listened to questions being answered, my legs barely able to hold me up.  And then I heard this question from the other attorney, being asked of my ex-husband, “Is your marriage over?”

Without hesitation, the reply came, “Yes.”

Seriously, in my head, I was screaming, “It is?!?” Because I honestly, deep down, I thought the trigger would never be pulled on this.  I woke up this morning in utter shock that I am actually divorced.  I had to say it out loud to sort of remind myself.  I am divorced.

So what all this means is, yes, I’ve gotten a bit used to parts of this new life of mine, but oh my word, seeing as I didn’t think it was going to actually happen, I’m so far from being healed and ready for my next chapter in life that it’s not even funny.

Though I was kicking myself for being so sad yesterday because it felt like I should be two years in already, it’s actually just day one for a huge part of my heart that did not expect this to be my life.

Two years in, I’m just getting started

I have felt a thousand and one emotions:  anxiety, sorrow, rejection, doubt, abandonment and even gratitude for the good things that came from our marriage.  I’ve cried through my wedding DVD and laughed through tears over sweet love letters from our college days.

This divorce – this forever severing as the decree calls it – will be my largest regret and sadness for the rest of my life, no matter what else my life has for me.  I will walk through the rest of my days holding in one hand “we should have never married” while balancing “but I wouldn’t trade my children or my friends or anything good that came from our marriage” in the other.  It’s all a mystery.  One I will grasp lightly and gratefully, knowing I’ll never fully understand the why’s behind it all.

There are so many moments I would change, so many words I would give anything to take back.  So many tears I wished I hadn’t cried, so many actions I wished I would’ve taken.

And yet, here I am.  Not one moment can be changed.  My fragile, now unraveled and undone, marriage forms a huge part of who I am.  I can’t go back.  And I wouldn’t go back.

For today, and a few todays to come I’m sure, I’ll look over my shoulder.  I’ll wonder.  I’ll cry.  I’ll be sad and walk slow and sigh.  I might conjure up a smile or two thinking on the good things.

Today I am requesting permission to be sad for a while…from myself, from God, from the people in my life. But then there will be a time, sooner rather than later I hope, when I will know it’s time to move completely on.  Today is not that day.

The ink is dry on paper.  But the ink is not yet dry on my heart.  That’s going to take a while.  Gratefully, I’ve got the time – all the time in the world.  I’ve got God, my patient, gentle Healer who will hold my hand, walk alongside me, make all things new, and promises – absolutely promises – to bring beauty from these ashes.

Source:- http://powertochange.com/sex-love/as-of-today-i-am-divorced/

Things NOT To Say To Someone Recently Divorced

Photo: Natsuo Ikegami/Moment/GettyImages

1. "But you two always seemed so happy..."

I heard this a lot after my first marriage ended some 20 years ago. My marital troubles weren't the sort to manifest in public scenes or to burst out in scandals. We had two healthy and winsome little kids, shared a sense of humor, liked many of the same people and hid the unhappiness behind closed doors. No one—no one we knew, anyway—saw me throw his McDonald's cheeseburger out the car window in a frustrated fit; and, no one saw us talking, calmly, hours into the night about how to tell the children. 

So, of course people who didn't really know us were surprised. But when they expressed that surprise—"but you two always seemed so happy," it often felt like an accusation. Their comment pushed me right into defensive mode: "Well, it may have appeared that way but, truly, we were fighting all the time..." No matter to whom I was speaking, a neighbor, a second-cousin, or how casual the relationship, I felt the need to justify what we had done—only wondering afterward why I had shared my private life. So, even if a divorce surprises you, saying that it was you who didn't see what was happening—instead of implying that maybe the divorcing couple has made a mistake—is much kinder. My favorite reaction: "I'm sorry. I had no idea." 

2. "Did you try couples therapy?"

Asking a newly divorced person if she tried therapy, or a vacation without the kids, or regular date nights or any other way to forestall the divorce is going to play right into that voice in her head, the voice that says: You should have tried harder. You rushed into this. 

It's an inevitable worry when the stakes are so high—though, in my experience, more people rush into marriage than rush into divorce. I surely did. I knew my first husband for less than half a year when we got engaged, and no one tried to slow us down. But fast forward eight years and, yes, we did go to couples counseling—where, after many months, on a particular evening, I realized we had entered the Humpty-Dumpty stage. All the king's horses and all the king's men... 

It wasn't what we were saying. It was the place where we sat. The therapist was a woman in her seventies, and her office was in her house, her husband occasionally visible in the garden or audible from upstairs. And there was something about being in that home, feeling the complexity of all those years of two people living together, raising children into adulthood together, somehow "making it" for decades, that made me realize that, try as we might, our marriage could not survive. It was, quite simply, unimaginable to be at their stage and still be together. So, in a strange and decidedly unexpected way, it was the couples therapy that made me certain we should divorce. 

Still, that sense of certainty faltered at times, even through the final decision. (The children! The children!) So, anything that sounded remotely like, "Are you sure you needed to do this?" or "Are you certain you tried every solution?" buried me again in paralyzing insecurity. 

3. "I hope you have a good lawyer."

Okay. If it's your sister who's getting divorced, and you know she is up against a real so-and-so and you're superclose, you get to say this. But for anyone outside the inner circle to suggest that the end of a marriage is a war, complete with sides, is just plain wrong. And it can also feel like a back-door way of asking for lurid details. 

Trust me, if the newly divorced person wants you to know about his or her legal situation, whether that's involving custody, alimony or child support, he or she will be the one to bring it up. And if she does, don't be too critical of whatever settlement she's reached. Though my ex and I shared many expenses, I never received formal child support, and people told me endlessly I should have fought for it, should have gotten myself some shark of a lawyer to do better for me; but those people didn't know the whole story, and their reproaches, kindly meant as they were, caused me social discomfort, because the details were all way too intimate, and were also genuinely painful, for reasons that I didn't want to share. There is no one-size-fits-all settlement for every divorce. A family is a complex and, sometimes, very fragile thing—never more so than when reconfiguring itself into two new parts.

source:- http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Talking-to-Friend-Getting-Divorced

Divorced Man Selling Half Of His Gadgets On eBay

This is what we call a rough split.

One love-lost German has allegedly decided to hand his ex-wife her half of their belongings in a peculiar way: By actually sawing them in half and handing his ex-wife her half of their belongings.

What is he doing with his halves? He’s selling them on eBay, of course.

(eBay/der.juli)

Listed to ebay.de are one-half of an iPhone, one-half of a MacBook Pro, one-half of an HD TV, and more. He’s even posted an auction for one part of a sawed-in-two car.

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We’re obviously not so quick to believe everything we’re seeing here. We’re passing all this on as a questionable, though still hilarious, report.

You can watch the video that’s embedded in the auctions below, which seems to show some of the listed items being cut in half.

source:- https://www.yahoo.com/tech/divorced-man-selling-half-of-his-gadgets-on-ebay-121784162054.html

'The Very Last Thing I Wanted To Be

Was A Twice-Divorced 35-Year-Old Single Mom

Amy Krasenics thought she had it all figured out: She'd marry, have kids, then when the kids were grown, live out her twilight days with her husband roughly along the lines of that Beatles' song, "When I'm 64." (Traveling, puttering around the garden, grandchildren on your knee -- you know the lyrics.)

But life has a way of going off-script, and a divorce -- then another one -- happened instead.

Below, the mother of three shares with us what she learned from two divorces by the time she was 35.

Like every single other married person out there, I never even considered I’d be divorced, let alone a single mom, at some point in my life. It just wasn’t in my Great Life Plan. I was going to marry, have my two kids, watch them grow, stand arm-in-arm with their father as they walked down the stairs for prom, graduation, leaving for college, and then, when the they left the nest, we’d grow old together, comfortable in our little regimen of gardening, taking trips and bouncing our grandchildren on our knees.

Alas, the universe doesn’t give a crap about our plans.

Let's get one thing straight first: I got married waaaaaay too young. I had children waaaaaay too young. We were together from the time I was 17. I never really dated. Soon, about a decade into the relationship, when I became a stay-at-home mom after the birth of our first daughter, things started getting less-than great. When we had our second daughter I realized there was no way I could live the rest of my life like that. I became a divorced single mom at 29 -- yep, divorced before many of my friends even married.

Shortly thereafter, I met the man I was sure was my soulmate. We rushed into the relationship, found ourselves pregnant rather early on and got married. And then, a month after our first anniversary, I discovered his affair -- his two year-long affair. His two year-long affair with a close friend of mine. I tried to make it work, because the very last thing I wanted to be was a twice divorced 35-year-old single mom of three young kids. Eventually he decided he no longer wanted to work on us any longer and moved out. I was devastated and sunk into a deep depression. Everyone said “hang in there; it’ll get better.” I couldn't believe them. But I hung in there, and thanks to my friends, my family, and most importantly, my children, it really did get better.

So now I was a 35-year-old twice divorced single mother of three young kids.What the hell do I do now? I thought. I knew I didn’t want to remain single for the rest of my life and that because of that, I'd have to enter the dating scene. Where does one go to meet single men? The internet, of course!

What's that been like, you ask? Online dating, especially as a single mom, cycles between tons of fun and tons of bold proclamations that usually go something like, "that’s it; I’m just going to be single forever." I talked to lots of guys. I went on quite a few first dates, but very few second dates. I very casually dated a guy for the summer. I entered into a serious relationship for about half a year. I did some ridiculously fun things –- hiking, kayaking, zip-lining, concerts. I did some not so fun things, but I still embraced the experience. I met a lot of crazy men, a few nice guys that just weren’t for me, and a handful of really great guys, whom I now consider friends. I’ve been criticized for dating a lot of guys since my divorce, but the second biggest lesson I learned from being married twice is to never settle for less than I fully deserve. I’ve become extremely picky. I know what I want in a partner, what I don’t want.

(Photo courtesy of Amy Krasenics) 

I purposely didn’t post pictures of myself on the dating site with my hair and makeup done, making a ridiculous sexy face. I posted pictures of me covered in mud, kayaking, hiking, at Disney World. I wrote a profile that would generate negative comments from men, but I didn’t care. I knew I had to completely be myself and the right guy would come along because of it. I altered so much of myself to try to make two doomed marriages work that I now decided to be 100 percent authentic and genuine and that meant admitting that I’m not all sunshine and rainbows all the time. (Sorry, guys.) I’m not traditionally “beautiful.” I bite my nails. I get PMS. That’s all OK -- and that’s what I wrote in my dating profile. The biggest lesson I learned from two “failed” marriages is to simply be myself.

There's that phrase -- "failed marriage." I don’t consider my two marriages to be failures. I’m great friends with both my ex-husbands and we work together as a team to raise our three amazing children. The marriages, and even the relationships and dating I’ve done since, weren’t failures because I learned such valuable lessons. I no longer tolerate disrespect, depression, self-absorption, clinginess or negative attitudes. I learned to be happy alone. The best things to come out of my “failures” are the lessons I've learned: to be myself, to be happy alone and to never accept less than I deserve.

I stopped mourning my divorce about a year ago and have since realized it was the best thing to ever happen to me, aside from my children. I’m thrilled with the person I’ve become since, and I’ve watched my children, especially my oldest daughter, morph into strong independent kids because that’s what they see their mother doing.

I’ve since met a wonderful man through online dating. He’s exactly what I want in a partner, all the things I learned through my countless “failures.” I once thought being mid-thirties, twice divorced with three kids was a dating death sentence, but it's not. It’s just the beginning.

Source:- http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/07/life-after-divorce-_n_5565474.html 

The Four Divorce Alternatives

No two marriages are the same, and so it only follows that no two  divorces will be the same, either.

In fact, if you’re a woman who’s contemplating divorce, you have several options about how to proceed. In general terms, you need to consider four broad categories of divorce alternatives: Do-It-Yourself (DIY), Mediation, Collaborative and Litigation. Let’s take a look at the pros and cons of each one.

Do-It-Yourself Divorce

The best advice I can give you about Do-It-Yourself Divorce, is DON’T Do-It-Yourself!

Divorce is very complicated, both legally and financially. You can easily make mistakes, and often those mistakes are irreversible. The only scenario I can envision when a Do-It-Yourself divorce may make any possible sense, might be in a case where the marriage lasted only two or three years and there are no children, little or no assets/debts to be divided, comparable incomes and no alimony. In a case like that, a Do-It-Yourself divorce could be accomplished quite quickly and inexpensively. Nevertheless, I would still highly recommend that each party have their own separate attorney review the final documents.

Reader Question: Should I Wait for My Separated Guy?

Renee asks: 
I got talking to this really lovely guy at work event just over a year ago. We connected I think because we like a lot of the same things, similar backgrounds, and I definitely felt a connection between us and when he asked me for my number at the end of the night, I thought nothing of giving it to him. We went on several dates and it was only then that it transpired that he is separated from his wife. They’ve been married for six years, no kids, and had been separated for about three months when we met. To say I was shocked and disappointed wouldn’t even cover it, but I was already falling for him and he said he’d been afraid to tell me in case I turned him down. I asked for some space to get my head around things and at first he left me alone and then he called and called and eventually I caved.

At the time, he assured me that the divorce was definitely going ahead and there was no chance of reconciliation. He said they’d grown apart, they wanted different things, and just couldn’t see eye to eye about a lot of stuff. I took him at his word but a year on, they’re not divorced yet (or even close) and twice he’s said that he’s crazy about me but that he thinks he should give his marriage another shot. He then claims they’re working at things but keeps calling me. The first time it happened was devastating and the second time, I lost it with him, and yet…I’m still waiting for him to do the right thing.

I would never have got involved with him if I’d known that he was separated and I certainly wouldn’t have stayed if I’d known it was going to be like this. I don’t know what to do. When I try to get something concrete from him, he tells me to stop pressuring him and that “Six years is a long time you know Renee! You can’t just expect me to throw it away!”. I’m crazy about him and I don’t want to feel like I’ve wasted a year – I’m 38, I don’t have time to waste! But I don’t want to be treated like this either and I’ve been reading your site and am worried I’m with a Mr Unavailable. Do you think I should wait for him? What if he just needs some time? 

Renee, I have two words for you – Get.Out. Actually, make it three – Get.Out.Fast.

I don’t want to rain on the parade of separated folk everywhere but there is a reason why they’re ‘separated’ – it’s because they’re not divorced and are still married, and that in itself adds a complicating factor to any new relationship they get involved in. I’m not saying that separated people can’t date, however, many separated people start dating and think later.

The separated people that are dangerous to date, overestimate what they think they’re capable of being involved in and how genuinely interested they are in you, and then start backtracking quicker than you can say ‘But I thought you said you were getting divorced!’.

You shouldn’t be worried that you might be with a Mr Unavailable – you should be highly concerned about the fact that you are involved with a Mr Unavailable. If you were with a separated person who was ready to move on, he wouldn’t be trying to reconcile with his wife! 

In your case, it’s a bit like a violation of the trade description act. You’ve brought a product under the impression that it is and does as described and have discovered that it doesn’t and are the disgruntled customer who wants what she paid for – the man you met is not on offer. 

The man you met a year ago, was footless and carefree on a night out. He was charming, appeared to share the same interests, and you seemed to have similar backgrounds. He was supposedly single and eager to date you. He just left out the rather hefty problem of the fact that he’s not actually single. He’s married, separated, and in spite of the fact that the divorce was supposed to be definite, it’s not so definite that he can’t park you in limbo land whilst he asks for some ‘time out’ to go back to his wife to work on things. 

You’re with that very non committal Mr Unavailable – can’t commit to being with you, can’t commit to not being with you, and can’t commit to an outcome. 

You’re an ‘option’ to him. He’s keeping you on ice and should he ever see fit to leave his wife, he wants the assurance that there is someone else out there pining for him and believing in a future with him. Mega ego stroke alert! 

You should never allow yourself to be regarded as someone’s ‘option’.

Your relationship with him started out being based on a lie and he himself didn’t believe in how over his marriage was because he didn’t see fit to tell you until you were already emotionally invested – but you were invested in what you thought was a single man. It’s not a little omission – it’s a big one that fundamentally affected the ability for your relationship to progress.

The trouble with this deception is that by not being upfront he removed the right for you to decide what you 1) want to be involved in and 2) what you’re comfortable with. You probably would have proceeded more cautiously and asked more crucial questions and opted out when it became apparent that this isn’t a healthy situation to be involved in.

But you want to know if you should wait – that’s the last thing you should do.

When you wait for non-commital guys, they continue to believe that you’re an option but they also feel no great impetus to change.

They get to fanny around in indecision whilst you sideline your life and put a serious dent in your self-esteem waiting around for them. It’s draining and demeaning to wait for someone to choose. If he’s going to leave and divorce her, he’ll leave and divorce her. He was married and separated before you met him – him divorcing shouldn’t and isn’t dependent on you.

The fact of the matter is, he said there was no chance of a reconciliation but he’s gone back twice and the divorce is in no danger of showing up. If six years is such a long time and he’s making dumb, patronising statements about you expecting him to throw it away, why is he around you? Six years is always going to be six years. On the basis of that reason, he’ll never divorce her. 

People that are working at their marriages, don’t keep calling up someone else to make sure that they have all of their options covered. Even when he says he’s giving his marriage another try, he’s uncommitted and can’t even work at his marriage without creeping around calling you!

You say you don’t have time to waste – whilst we can’t know all that lies in store for us when we become involved with someone, the idea of those early weeks and months of dating is to work out whether you should proceed ahead and whether your early perceptions hold up, or whether the reality is very different and you should halt, or abort the mission. Whilst he is leading you up and down the garden path, ultimately it’s you who is going back and not heeding the warnings of his flip flapping behaviour.

If he’s really getting divorced and he really wants to be in a relationship with you, tell him to come back when he’s free to be with you properly and accept nothing in between that because you’ve already tried that and it hasn’t worked and how could you trust that he wouldn’t continue to flip flap back to her?

Get on with your own life and access your own willingness to be in a relationship. You say you don’t have time to wait and it sounds like you want to be in a relationship, and yet you’re involved with someone who isn’t actually available to you and is undecided about who he wants to be with. If you really want a relationship, even though it may empty out your pool a bit, it is better to focus your energy on people who offer likelier prospects for relationships instead of people who resist it.

You don’t have to treat this guy like a last chance saloon. I wouldn’t even begin to suggest that dating is easy, because it’s not, but this is not the type of compromising you should be getting involved in. Being with this man has you being and doing things that you are not comfortable with and are not representative of your values.

You’re right to question what he’s doing but he has given you an answer even if it isn’t directly and whilst I appreciate that you feel emotionally invested in him, his marriage takes priority. That in itself gives you an answer. 

You are not compatible at present. It doesn’t matter if you both like the same music, food, high brow books, and yada yada yada. It doesn’t matter if you have similar backgrounds because those things don’t mean jack to the relationship right now because they are not things that make the relationship work.

You may have plenty in common on the interests front but on the value front and what you both want at this time, you’re incompatible and that’s what counts.

Don’t make the mistake of assuming that just because he’s been married before that it must mean that he’s capable of commitment because plenty of people get married without being capable of actually being committed.

I don’t think that he needs more time and you have to ask what you’re giving him time to do – to make up his mind about you? To try out his marriage again?

Don’t wait and don’t give him more time – they are two things that he’s already had and it’s not giving you a great result. Take action and get on with your own life. If this is real, it’ll still be real when he’s divorced. If you stay and wait, you won’t like who you become and if he finally divorces, you might feel like you got the booby prize. 

Your thoughts? Have you waited for a flip flapping separated guy?

What would you do? My ebook The No Contact Rule is now available to buy and provides a dedicated guide to getting over someone by cutting contact and injecting some boundaries into your life so that you can move on to a happier you. For a no holds barred guide to emotionally unavailable men, including separated guys that flip flap in indecision, and the women that love them, you can also get Mr Unavailable & The Fallback Girl. For personal advice or analysis of your relationship/situation, check out my consultation service.

Source:- http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/reader-question-should-i-wait-for-my-separated-guy/

           

Why Do People Get Divorced?

Contents

• Why Do People Get Divorced?
• So How Do We Help "Hope" Triumph Over "Experience"?
• Research Supported Reasons For Divorce

Divorce is on the rise due to the "traditional reasons" as well as the "starter marriage" syndrome.

Why Do People Get Divorced?

Gottman offers research to support two main reasons and times for divorce:

• 5-7 years due to high conflict
• 10-12 years due to loss of intimacy and connection

But why does this happen? Wallerstein offers that divorce is passed down from divorcing parents to their children:

• Among adult children of divorced parents, only 60% marry, with 50% marrying before age 25 and most marrying people they had known only a short-time.
• 40% of them eventually divorce (in other words, only 36% of children of divorce are happily married). Among adult children from intact families, 80% marry, and 9% of them divorce (in other words, 73% of children of intact families are happily married).
• Among the adult children of divorced parents that never marry, half are women. Among the adult children from intact families that never marry, one-third are women.

Services for Separation & Divorce

TCCR has a range of services available for couples and individuals who are separating or divorced, whether that is a current situation or even if the relationship dissolved many years ago.  

For more information on the services available, see below to find out which TCCR service might best suit your needs, or simply book a first appointment by calling Heather Williamson (contact details below) and she will talk you through which kind of help would be best for you.

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Parents in Dispute Service

TCCR’s Parents in Dispute service offers free counselling and group work for separated parents. TCCR has been working with parents in conflict for more than 65 years and we do not take sides in disputes and are not part of any court assessment process. Our aim is to help parents reduce family conflict so that you and your children can thrive, now and in the future. 

Who is the Parents in Dispute service for?

This service is for parents who are currently, or have been, in the court process, and who have been unable to resolve their differences to work together co-operatively to parent their children. 

Parents can come to TCCR’s Parents in Dispute Service on their own or with their ex-partner.  Some parents will be referred by Cafcass or other services, or some parents may contact TCCR directly.

How much does it cost?

This is a FREE service. Email parentsindispute@tccr.org.uk or call Heather Williamson on 020 7380 1950 to book your place (eligibility criteria apply. See link below for more information).

For more information on the Parents in Dispute service click here…

Why Our Kids Will Never Get Married (And Why It’s Okay)

Besides the fact that I’m convinced we will all be dead in 50 years due to radiation from Fukushima, there are other reasons our children may very well opt out of getting married. Marriage, as an institution, came about as an answer to a problem. Men wanted to make sure their women would

Betrayal

  The greater the love and loyalty, the involvement and commitment, the greater the betrayal.

James Hillman

Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.

Sir Walter Scott

Secrets, lies, cheating.  They’re all forms of betrayal, and they all destroy trust.

As a therapist I have seen my share of emotional havoc wreaked by betrayal; and, as a divorced woman I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of deception.

When facing a mate’s lies it’s important to remember that their lying says absolutely nothing about you and everything about them.  Either they were cowardly and couldn’t face you with the truth, or they have a diagnosable psychiatric condition like sociopathy (now euphemistically called Anti-social Personality Disorder).  Neither explanation makes them particularly appealing.

Unfortunately, you invested a good part of your life loving and trusting this person, so expect a hefty amount of cognitive dissonance and grief. Those feelings will dissipate, but not before you’ve danced more than a few pas de deux with them. Expect to feel outraged. Thoughts like: “How could s/he do this to me?” are the coin of the realm.  

Bad things happen to everyone.  There’s no inoculation from betrayal.  You can be the best partner on earth and still be treated poorly. Actually, people who are pathological liars and sociopaths have an innate sense of who is a good mark.  They usually choose a hard-working, open-hearted soul who will be devoted to them. I am not referring to one-time liars here, but people who have lied throughout a relationship.  Not the person who had a one-night stand, but the adulterer who had a series of extra-curricular trysts. Not the person who made a silly financial mistake, but the one who repeatedly withheld information, lying by omission.  The virtuous mate persists in seeing their partner in the best light, despite evidence to the contrary.  Why? An honest person does not think others are duplicitous; it simply doesn’t occur to them. They habitually assume the best; and, everyone is subject to inertia (a body at rest stays at rest and a body in motion says in motion). Normal responsibilities, like laundry, car-pooling the kids, and working are distracting. The luxury of trusting someone means not examining every little nuance for signs of secrets. 

So, how do you wrap your mind around this situation and move forward?  First of all, if you are honest and forthright other people are, too.  I know it’s easy to question one’s judgment, but you are much wiser now than when you entered into this relationship.  In the future, you will be more cautious, but not so much that you lock up your heart.  Give yourself time.  You will heal.  Everything truly happens for your highest good, even though it may impossible to see that now.

Here’s a radical thought: be happy you trusted someone.  It says something wonderful about you.  Everyone gets taken in by someone sometimes. Con artists are charismatic. They use their wiles to manipulate.  Be glad you found out the truth.  It may be a bitter pill, but there’s an antidote: loving yourself and living joyfully.  You may not be there yet, but you will be. People recover from the loss of their rose-colored glasses every day.

This lady writes amazing stuff!

See more at.....     http://holisticdivorce.wordpress.com/category/betrayal/

For lots of help and information when you realise divorce may be on the cards follow this link to the "divorce advice for women" site.

Divorce Advice for Women     

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