Financial Issues On Divorce

Divorce and the break up of any relationship, family and home is traumatic and stressful.Concerns about finances can soon make the process adversarial and more complex. You should aim to negotiate a divorce settlement that provides for each party and any dependents, with any assets divided fairly

First financial arrangements upon separation

If you are the main or only earner in a marriage, you may need to continue providing financial support to your spouse before reaching any final agreement, for example, paying bills even if you have left the marital home.

Reasonable payments should not affect the final agreement adversely, but failing to provide necessary support is likely to provoke hostility.

Conversely, if you are financially dependent on your spouse, ask for suitable arrangements to be made. If your spouse refuses, you can apply to the court for an interim financial order, requiring them to meet your financial needs until final agreement is reached.

At the same time, there are some immediate steps you can take to protect yourself financially.

• If you are concerned that your spouse will abuse them, you could close joint bank and credit card accounts (although you may need to make separate arrangements for your spouse’s reasonable financial needs).
• If your spouse is the sole owner of the family home, you can register an interest (at the Land Registry) to prevent the home being sold without your agreement.
• Get legal advice if you think your spouse is trying to hide or shift assets (eg: overseas or in trust).

Ensuring financial provision for children

The first priority is to look after the welfare and financial needs of any children, more specifically, children under 16 and older children who are in full-time education or have special needs.

Children's needs include having a home. In practice, this may mean they and one parent continue to live in the family home, but this is not automatically the case – particularly where limited total assets are available. To meet both parents’ financial needs and the children's, it might be necessary to sell the family home.

In addition, the parent who no longer lives with the children will normally provide financial support. You can negotiate an agreement on child maintenance between yourselves or involve the Child Maintenance Service.

Key factors in determining a divorce settlement

Whether one party is responsible for a marriage's breakdown or ‘at fault’ (eg: has committed adultery) rarely impacts on what is legally considered to be a reasonable financial settlement.

Instead, key factors to be taken into account (apart from the needs of any children) include: 

• Each spouse’s income and other financial resources. The focus is generally on proven resources, for example, actual income, rather than prospects. Any pension entitlements are also taken into account.
• Each spouse’s financial needs.
• How long you have been married and how old each spouse is. The longer the marriage, the more likely it is that the less wealthy spouse will be entitled to a substantial share of the assets and/or continuing maintenance.
• The contribution each spouse has made. Importantly, looking after the house and children can be as valuable a contribution as going out to earn an income.
• The family’s standard of living prior to the marriage's breakdown – although this is usually only relevant if substantial assets are available. In practice, in most divorces both spouses end up financially worse off due to the higher cost of running two households.

Your lawyer can advise you what would be reasonable in your circumstances.

Negotiating a divorce settlement agreement

The process will be easier and less expensive if you and your spouse cooperate to negotiate a fair agreement.

Options include negotiating directly between yourselves, using a family mediation service or collaborative law, or involving your lawyers.

For example, you might use a lawyer’s advice on what to reasonably expect as a benchmark for your negotiations, before later involving them in the final details. Drawn-out legal arguments should be avoided because they are expensive and both spouses can end up worse off.

As a starting point, you should both fully disclose your financial positions. Failing to do so may mean that agreements are later overturned.

You will also each need to work out your key objectives. For example, one of you might be keen to retain the family home or the family business, while a non-earner’s priority might be to secure a regular monthly income through maintenance payments.

Negotiating agreement between yourselves is more likely to deliver a reasonably satisfactory outcome than if the court imposes a solution.

There is no set time limit on the financial negotiations and you can get divorced without having reached a final agreement. However, if you remarry without having reached agreement, you may lose your right to make any financial claims.

Once you have reached agreement, you should apply to the court for a ‘consent order’. This allows the court to check that the agreement you have reached is fair. It also limits the ability of either spouse to later ask the court to change financial arrangements, and makes it easier to take action if your former spouse fails to honour his or her commitments.

The divorce settlement

The right agreement for you will depend on your circumstances and objectives. Any agreement must take into account all assets and sources of income, and balance the different interests of the parties involved. Issues to consider include:

• Who will retain the family home, or whether it will be sold to allow you both to purchase a smaller home.
• Whether either of you will pay continuing maintenance to the other or agree a one-off lump sum payment. A clean break provides greater certainty to both parties, but can be difficult to arrange if capital is not easily available.
• What financial arrangements will be made for any dependent children (you cannot make a clean break in regard to any child maintenance obligations).
• How any pension fund entitlements will be shared out, for example, by splitting the fund or offsetting it against other assets.
• What will be done about any life insurance or other investment policies, for example, whether one spouse agrees to continue paying premiums.
• What changes you each wish to make to your wills. Once you are divorced, your former spouse automatically ceases to be a beneficiary.

If you expect to receive maintenance, you should understand the potential risks:

• Maintenance payments are uncertain: your spouse could apply to alter payments if circumstances change (eg: they become unemployed or if you start living with someone else).
• You would normally cease receiving maintenance if you remarry.
• Maintenance payments will cease if your former spouse dies. However, you may be able to make a claim against their estate.

As part of the overall negotiation, you can protect yourself against such risks, for example, by requiring your former spouse to take out appropriate life insurance (for your benefit).

Before finalising any agreement, make sure you clearly understand its overall effect on your long-term financial position.

Source:- http://www.lawdonut.co.uk/law/personal-law/divorce-separation-cohabitation/financial-issues-on-divorce

Tell-Tale Signs That It's Time To Divorce

 In my last article, I wrote about things to consider before making the decision to divorce. This article deals with accepting and recognizing when it is time to "throw in the towel." Below are a few signs that you are dealing with a marriage that has gone past the point of saving...in my opinion.

Are you to the point that your spouse just can't do anything right, does everything they do get under your skin?

Shortly before my Aunt and Uncle divorced, I heard her say, "If he died tomorrow I'd have to peel an onion before I could shed a tear." Their marriage had gone on way too long. So long that she had developed feelings of animosity toward her husband. If you feel yourself moving in that direction, do yourself and him a favor and move on.

Are you tired of the trying, so tired you can't muster of the energy to even engage anymore?

Trying to solve marital problems can turn into a cycle of the wife trying to get her needs met and the husband stonewalling or dismissing her. A woman will normally try to re-engage her husband. Women are natural problem solvers who don't give up easily. She will eventually tire of trying to engage her husband in finding solutions to the marital problems. She will withdraw, stop expressing her needs; and once this happens, the marriage is headed for separation or divorce.

Does the idea of sex with your spouse cause you to shudder?

Does the idea of sex with your husband cause you to feel trapped, like you want to cry, pack your bags and never come back? If so, it is time to act on your feelings.

Has the love you felt been replaced by resentment?

Feelings of resentment come from being hurt by your husband. They stem from allowing someone to hurt you. There is nothing wrong with feeling hurt by the actions of another. The kiss of death to a marriage comes when we harbor those hurt feelings and do nothing about them. When you don't voice your feelings in a proper manner or stand up for yourself, hurt turns to resentment. From resentment grows bitterness and hostility, feelings hard to work through and more than likely mean the end of a marriage.

The above list is a small sample of signs that your marriage is dead. Many women live for years in a marriage where some or all of the above signs are present. They stay for any number of reasons...guilt, religious beliefs, the children, fear of change. They stay for all the wrong reasons. In my opinion, when it is over, it is over. It is time to stop peeling onions and throw in the towel.

Source:- https://www.firstwivesworld.com/index.php/experts/item/3903-tell-tale-signs-that-its-time-to-divorce

What Are The Grounds For Divorce?

There is only one ground for divorce in England and Wales: irretrievable breakdown of marriage. To prove irretrievable breakdown of marriage, one party must demonstrate one or more of the following ‘facts’:

• the other spouse has committed adultery;
• the behaviour of the other spouse has been unreasonable;
• a spouse has deserted the other for a period of two years;
• the spouses have been separated with consent for two years; and/or
• the spouses have been separated without consent for five years.

We have only been married a short time. Can I file for divorce?

In England and Wales you cannot petition for divorce if you have been married less than one year. You must wait until after 365 days have passed to petition for a divorce and you must demonstrate that your partner’s behavior is unreasonable or that they committed adultery, which is hard to prove if your partner denies they had an affair.

We married abroad, but can we divorce in England?

You can still obtain a divorce in England even if you married abroadprovided either you or your spouse is habitually resident or domiciled in England or Wales. It does not matter that you married abroad, what matters is that you live as a resident of England for at least one year before you file for divorce.

What if I live in England and Wales and my spouse resides abroad. Can I still obtain a divorce?

Yes, you can still obtain a divorce from your spouse, even if your spouse now lives abroad provided you are either domiciled or habitually resident in England and Wales for one year before you file for divorce.

My spouse committed adultery but I forgave him. I now want to file for divorce. Can I still rely on my partner’s adultery?

You can cite your partner’s adultery as a fact to prove irretrievable breakdown of marriage as long as you became aware of it less than six months ago. If you became aware of the adultery more then six months ago, you are seen to have accepted it, and you can no longer use the fact to seek a divorce unless your partner commits adultery again after this.

Will the separation period start over if my partner and I reconcile, albeit briefly?

If you seek a divorce on the basis of either two or five years separation, you can reconcile for a period or periods totalling less than six months over the two or five year period. However, you must add on the reconciliation period to the end of the two or five year period and you go only start divorce proceedings at the end of that time. If, however, you reconcile for a period or periods totalling six months or more, the two or five year separation period resets – any period or periods of prior separation will essentially be wiped out.

My partner and I are separated but living in the same house, can I still file for divorce?

Yes, you can still file for divorce if you are separated but living in the same home. You must demonstrate that you are not living as husband and wife by showing that you have separate bedrooms, and you are not sharing any domestic tasks such as cooking, washing, and ironing, or going to social events as husband and wife.

What conduct qualifies as ‘unreasonable behaviour’?

There is no exhaustive list as to what qualifies as ‘unreasonable behaviour’. You must show that, objectively, nobody could expect you carry on living with your spouse together because of his or her conduct. A few examples of ‘unreasonable behaviour’ include:

• Continuous name calling.
• Lack of sex.
• Disinterest in you or the family.
• Disrespectful or undermining behaviour.
• Lack of financial support in maintaining the household.
• Violent or abusive behaviour.

I have received the Decree Nisi. Does this mean I am divorced?

No, a Decree Nisi does not mean that you are legally divorced. The court issues the Decree Nisi to stipulate that both parties must wait six weeks and one day before they can file for the Decree Absolute (divorce decree). The court uses this period of time to see if anyone objects to the divorce. If nobody objects, you are free to file for the Decree Absolute. It is only when you obtain the Decree Absolute that you are legally divorced.

What if my partner, the petitioner, does not apply for the Decree Absolute, can I apply?

Yes, as respondent, once the court has issued the Decree Nisi you can apply for the Decree Absolute if your partner fails to do so. However, you must wait four and a half months from the issuance of the Decree Nisi. (NB. The petitioner only has to wait six weeks and one day.)

How long does the divorce process take?

A typical divorce takes between three and six months. However, this depends on how quickly your partner responds to your petition. The divorce may also be delayed if and your partner disagrees about how to divide assets or disputes arrangements for the children. It is best to arrive at an agreement on these matters prior to applying for divorce, if possible.

When can I marry again?

You are free to marry again once the Court has issued the Decree Absolute. Prior to this you cannot remarry.

Getting help

A solicitor who specialises in matrimonial and family law matters can assist you in complying with court procedures and in negotiating settlements as to financial matters, children and other issues that may arise during divorce or dissolution.

Source: - http://www.findlaw.co.uk/law/family/divorce_and_dissolution/500176.html

Divorce and Separation

Divorce & Sep

Not all relationships last forever, some marriages and partnerships end in divorce or separation and couples have to go their separate ways. There’s a lot to think about when a relationship ends and it can put a strain on all areas of your life. You may be worried about your children, home or accommodation, work, money, debts or what the future holds. Any kind of relationship breakdown can have serious implications on your wellbeing so it’s important to remember to take care of yourself whilst going through this difficult time.

Help with separation & divorce

There are some important options to consider that may help your situation and make a resolution easier to achieve.

One of these options is relationship or family counselling. If you have children, they might also help you explain the situation to them better so they are less affected by the separation, and can help you to communicate better in order to understand and resolve problems. If you choose to open up to a family or couples counsellor, they can provide confidential and non-judgmental support. Talking is difficult, but necessary to reach a resolution so you’ll be encouraged to share your thoughts and feelings on the situation. In the first few sessions the counsellor will ask you to talk through what’s happening and what you’d like to change, you’ll then work together with the counsellor to decide what happens next.

Even if you still retain a good relationship with your ex-partner, talking about money and children can lead to arguments, which make things more difficult.

An option to consider in this situation is mediation, which differs from family counselling and is often used once a couple’s attempt to reach agreements has failed. Any discussion you have with a mediator is in a safe, non-judgmental environment where you and your partner can discuss the practical issues that are involved in divorce. Mediation is used to help couples settle disputes over contact and living arrangements, child maintenance, property and money – which can help pave the way to a smoother separation and means you don’t have to take it to court. A mediator will also explain the legal options that are available for you if you wish to take it in that direction afterwards. This mediation process is called ADR, or Alternative Dispute Resolution, and forms an essential part of formal divorce proceedings.

What about my kids?

One of the most difficult things to do when separating is discussing it with your children. It is important to remember not to involve them in conflict of any kind and to minimize the stress they might feel at home by reassuring them that even though you’re not together anymore, you’re still their dad. Children in this situation often feel like they must choose between parents, remember to remind them that you’re separating from your partner and not them. It’s also really important to remind them that it is in no way their fault, and that it is purely between you and your partner.

The end of a relationship is tough for anyone and can trigger many feelings such as sadness, depression, anxiety, anger, happiness or relief, guilt and shame. All of these things can make being a parent even harder, but it’s important to remember to keep your cool and not let take these feelings out on your children.

Although you may find talking to your partner difficult when discussing living arrangements for your children, it is better to agree on something between yourselves rather than taking it to court.

I’m really struggling with my self-esteem…

It’s not uncommon to feel like you’re lacking in self-confidence at the end of a relationship, after all nobody anticipates it happening. Separation can spark a huge range of emotions such as loss, uncertainty and fears about the future. It is important to remember that these feelings are completely normal, and that nobody expects you to come out of the other side of a divorce or break up feeling like Superman.

Self-esteem is really important and recognizing that you’re not feeling great is the first step towards getting help. When going through a separation you may feel less sociable than normal, feel unworthy of love or affection, or guilty that you couldn’t make it work. All of these are completely normal but can provide a slippery slope into depression if you can’t shake them.

There are a few things you can do to boost your self-esteem and confidence once again, including learning to stop criticising yourself. Whilst it’s difficult to stop replaying situations and conversations in your mind and think to yourself that you could’ve done things better or differently- you have to learn not to think that way. Try not to take things too hard or blame yourself. Sometimes relationships just don’t work, and there’s nothing anyone can do to save them.

It is more important to appreciate yourself and recognise your skills and strengths than to focus on the negatives. Helpful things such as setting realistic goals for the future or taking up a new hobby or some form of exercise can all help you feel yourself again (exercise is proven to lift your mood, after all). Remember to give yourself time to heal and accept compliments when they come your way.

How do I move on after divorce or break up?

The end of a relationship can be an upsetting time and considering your future outside a relationship can cause high levels of anxiety. But you have to remember that life goes on post-separation, and that thousands of people continue to live happy, successful lives afterwards.

The most important thing to do after a separation is to look after yourself. Talking is the best way to stop yourself becoming isolated from your friends and family, so try to maintain communication with people who you feel at ease talking to, be they family members, mates, colleagues or even talking to a counsellor can help. You also need to allow yourself time to grieve and let go of any residing anger you might have.

It’s not easy dealing with the aftermath of a relationship breakdown, but it’s important to remember you’ll have good days and bad days – just like everybody else. Because separation can be an extremely distressing time, it’s also a good idea to give yourself time to relax and let your body de-stress. Do what makes you happiest, whether it’s relaxing with the footy or meeting your mates down the pub, laughter can be a great therapy so make sure you allow yourself to have some fun.

Remember that your physical health is just as important as your mental health in times of stress. Maintaining a good diet and exercise can help boost your self-esteem and your outlook on life. Similarly, if you’re struggling with the emotional aspects of a separation, remember that help is always on hand in the form of friends, family and the CALM helpline.   0800 585858, open 5pm – midnight, every day of the year.  Our trained helpline staff can talk through your problems with you and help you decide what to do next or where to go for further support.

Relate, the UK’s leading relationship support organisation can help you at all stages of relationships, including helping you to separate in a way that reduces conflict and helping you to move on from a relationship which has ended. They have developed practical, online support that you can access in your own time. You can find out more by visitingwww.relate.org.uk, where you can chat for free to a trained Relate counsellor, or by calling 0300 100 1234.

Where’s your head?

Relate has a brilliant website specifically for guys going through relationship problems with specialist advice on a range of relationship issues.  You can find out more here:

www.wheresyourhead.org.uk

Relate’s What Next? Service for separating parents

Relate’s online What Next? service offers practical, step by step advice for separating or separated parents. Using advice and exercises, it helps you to work through the issues affecting you including talking to your children about separation, living arrangements and dividing finances. Find out more here:

www.whatnext.relate.org.uk

Source:- https://www.thecalmzone.net/help/get-help/divorce-separation/?gclid=Cj0KEQjw7IWgBRCjv8Cv4vfC3ckBEiQAE7nvR-WHnNhFYrwoHkWWyKWRjC7466_lSbUiAfbyK9kGuCEaAp1e8P8HA

Filing for divorce

Very clear information on this site and lots of helpful financial insights.  Money is going to get tight so you need to manage it!

There are several fixed stages of divorce which vary slightly across the UK. Find information that’s relevant to where you’re thinking of getting divorced.

The divorce process in England and WalesHide

Getting divorced in England or Wales involves one person starting the process. They are called the ‘petitioner’. The husband or wife of the petitioner is called the ‘respondent’. In some divorces it will be one spouse’s decision, so they will start the process, but in others you may decide between you who the petitioner is and who the respondent is. It’s best to stay on civil terms with your husband or wife if you possibly can, because there’s a lot for you to sort out.

The stages of divorce

There are two stages to the divorce process:

1. a decree nisi, which means you’re moving towards divorce but nothing is finalised yet, and
2. the decree absolute which means that the marriage is entirely at an end. After this you’re both free to re-marry

Starting a divorce

To start a divorce, either you or your spouse needs to complete a document, known as a petition, and post or deliver it to your local county court, along with a court fee of £340.

Find your local court

Download a divorce petition form

Justifications for a divorce

The petition must rely on one of five possible facts to prove that the marriage has irretrievably broken down.

• Adultery with another person of the opposite sex
• Unreasonable behaviour
• Two years' desertion (when your partner leaves without explanation and without your consent)
• Living apart for two years, if you both agree to the divorce
• Living apart for five years (in which case your spouse doesn’t have to agree to the divorce)

You can’t file an application for divorce until at least one year after you married.

For more information:-

www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/filing-for-divorce