Saturday, 7 March 2015

Divorced By 30: Why Do So Many Young Marriages Come To An Early End?

Divorce

 Illustration: Mick Brownfield

John and Dan met online when John was 19 and Dan was 17. They were from similar backgrounds, country boys who, growing up, hadn’t known anyone else who was gay. When it turned out they were attracted to each other as well, they couldn’t believe their luck. They were together for a year before life intervened; when, two years later, they bumped into each other again, the attraction was stronger than ever. They knew they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together, and announced to their respective parents that they would be entering into a civil partnership.

Friday, 6 March 2015

Not All Women Are Created Equal




The forthcoming general election is scheduled for a neat five weeks before the due date of pregnant Labour MP Rachel Reeves.

Should Ms Reeves be offered a cabinet post in the wake of a Labour victory, however, the timing would not be a problem: she has announced that she would be perfectly capable of abolishing the “bedroom tax” within about a fortnight. She’d then nip off a month before the summer recess to give birth, resuming the post of work and pensions secretary in September.
Bloody hell. I take a week off if I stub my toe.
So I couldn’t help feeling a bit sorry for Andrew Rosindell, Tory MP for Romford, when he questioned Ms Reeves’s suitability for the post by saying: “I don’t want to say someone who is having a baby is not eligible to be a cabinet minister, but I certainly think perhaps the demands of that particular job will require someone to give it their full attention.”
Oh poor Andrew Rosindell. Poor, tired, middle-aged Andrew Rosindell.
I don’t doubt for a moment that fizzy, energetic, motivated thirtysomething Rachel Reeves is able to work until the baby comes and be back at her desk a few weeks later, juggling career and childcare with the dexterity and determination you’d expect of someone who’s achieved the meteoric success she has already.
But Andrew Rosindell is just normal, just human; just a hapless backbencher on the cusp of 50, who’s probably knackered at the thought of taking his dog for a walk.
It’s been an exhausting few years for Andrew Rosindell. His struggle to reinstate the death penalty continues without success. He’s been in trouble for parking in a disabled space, claiming £1.31 for a pot of jellied eels and voicing his love of General Pinochet.
When Andrew Rosindell looks wearily at Rachel Reeves as she zooms, blooming, between her shadow cabinet post, her constituency and her various BBC gigs, and he says her prospective new job would “require someone to give it their full attention”, what he means is: “It takes my full attention to get the lid off the biscuit tin. God help me if I’m trying to watch Wolf Hall at the same time. I have to keep rewinding. Which Thomas is that again? The Catholic one?”Equal marriage has been legalised and animals banned from circuses, despite Andrew’s best attempts to campaign otherwise. The world is ruined. It’s all gay brides and happy elephants. Everything’s awful.
But be careful what we wish for. At the other end of the spectrum from lovely-juggly Rachel Reeves and her couple-of-months’ maternity leave is Tracey Wright of Suffolk, a divorcee and mother who’s just been told by a judge that she should get a job and stop expecting her ex-husband (a millionaire racehorse surgeon) to support her for life.
Lord Justice Pitchford upheld last year’s ruling from Judge Lynn Roberts that: “The world of work has innumerable possibilities … It is possible to find work that fits in with childcare … Vast numbers of women with children just get on with it and Mrs Wright should have done as well.”
Rachel Reeves is getting on with it, and how. Does that mean every woman should? If so, when? Mrs Wright’s marriage broke up when her children were seven and one. She had been a stay-at-home mother. Perhaps she felt it would have been too traumatic for the children, as well as herself, to change everything at once.
She’s now 51, with a 10-year-old at home, and she’s been out of the job market for many years. What’s she going to be offered? Not the post of work and pensions secretary, that’s for sure.
I don’t know the emotional circumstances of this case or who left whom (which always strikes me as morally relevant in divorce settlements, even if it’s never taken into account for practical reasons), but I think we need to be awfully careful.
All genders have inherent biological frailities. Of the main two: men die younger, and possess in their youth an aimless physical energy that means they are not only more likely to commit violent crime but also to be a victim of it. Their role in childbirth, however, is over after a few ecstatic seconds and they can keep performing it pretty much forever. It doesn’t really interfere with any options at all.
Whatever the warp and weft of the world, has anything really changed when a man marries a woman at 25, they have a few children and he runs off with someone younger when his wife is 55? It’s still likely that the wife has compromised or at least delayed her career potential with the physical and emotional brakes of childbirth. It is certainly the case that the man has more to offer future partners, being able to start again with a whole new family, while the woman’s fertility has fizzled out.
The wife’s future is bleaker, lonelier and (ironically) longer in that break-up; the whole point of the marriage contract was to protect her from it. Men were promising that, if they took the benefit of a woman’s youth, fertility and freest years, they’d stay for ever.
When that idea became old hat, divorce settlements were a depressing but vitally protective replacement. But if a woman now can’t expect that support to last a lifetime (as Tracey Wright has been told), then what does the original contract mean? No more than a tissue-paper Valentine’s card.
Enabling the ambitions and abilities of driven women like Rachel Reeves was an important early step in feminism. I shiver to think of a world before I was born, when all women were dismissed as weak and frail.
But, in learning to respect that kind of rubbery, bounce-back strength, don’t let’s start demanding it of everybody. That would be a frightening world, too.

Source:- http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/mar/01/maternity-leave-not-all-women-are-created-equal

Thursday, 5 March 2015

Mother-of-three Aisha Dannupawa told a court that sex with her

spouse was "too much to bear" - even after she had taken

drugs to help with the pain





Woman files for divorce because her husband's penis is too big
A woman has filed for divorce after claiming she could not cope
with the size of her husband's huge penis.

Mother-of-three Aisha 

Dannupawa, from Nigeria's Zamfara State, had been
married to Ali Maizinari for just one-week when she
asked a Sharia court for an annulment.  And she
cited his massive member as the sole reason.
The housewife is reported to have told the court
how she tied the knot with Ali following the
breakdown of her first marriage.
But problems arose after she moved into his
parents' home.
According to Nigeria's Tribune newspaper,
she told a hearing: "When he came, we had
sex but the experience was a nightmare.
"Instead of enjoying the sex, it turned out to
be something else, because his penis was
too big."
Penis size: How do you measure up in new survey?
After the hearing, Aisha told local media
how after their first attempt at sex, she had
taken medication given to her by her
mother to help with the pain.
However, a second romp proved just as
traumatic.
Aisha told reporters sex with Ali was
simply "too much to bear".
In court, Ali did not deny having a
particularly sizeable penis, although he
told the hearing would only dissolve
the union if he was reimbursed for his
dowry.

Wednesday, 4 March 2015

HOW A DIVORCE AFFECTS YOUR MORTGAGE



IF YOU HAVE A JOINT MORTGAGE WITH YOUR NOW EX-PARTNER, IT'S NOT ALWAYS CLEAR WHAT YOU SHOULD DO. HERE'S EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW.




D-I-V-O-R-C-E


Once the relationship has come to an end, there are two options. The obvious option is to sell the property, split the proceeds and go your separate ways.
However, if you have put a lot of time and energy into decorating and developing the home, this may be too much of a wrench.
So what is the process if one of you wants to buy out the other partner and keep the house?
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REAPPLYING FOR THAT MORTGAGE

The first issue surrounds the partner who wishes to remain in the property. Let's call her Lucy. Lucy will have to prove to the lender that she is capable of covering the mortgage payments on her own, without the help of her ex, Peter.
This is really important, because the lender is under no obligation to remove Peter from the mortgage deed unless Lucy can demonstrate to the lender that she can afford the repayments alone. The lender will assess Lucy as if she were a new applicant, and decide whether the mortgage is affordable on her income alone.
Unsurprisingly, this is where many cases fall down, as not all lenders will take into account things like maintenance payments when judging the applicant's affordability.
Even if Lucy can afford the current mortgage on her own, she may also need to request a larger loan in order to buy out Peter's equity in the property, if she does not have sufficient savings. Again, the lender can refuse to lend this sum, if it decides Lucy could not afford a larger mortgage.
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TRANSFER OF EQUITY

If the lender does agree, a 'transfer of equity' - alternatively known as a 'transfer ofmortgage' - will need to take place. The good news is that your current mortgage deal can usually stay in place.
In order to buy out your partner's share of the property, you'll have to get a valuation. This may be done on a drive-by basis, rather than a physical survey, though there is a financial sting in the tail, as a full valuation fee will most likely be charged.
An alternative option is to simply remortgage, particularly if your mortgage is free of any early repayment charges, as the transfer can take place at the same time.
While you would still face the costs of the 'transfer of equity' - which is generally around £200 plus VAT - the survey and other remortgage fees would be free, as with other remortgages. Remortgaging is also likely to be quicker.
The final option is that of a guarantor mortgage, which would require you to find somebody - most likely a parent or sibling - to guarantee you will be able to meet your mortgage payments. Then, if you don't meet your payments, the lender could start proceedings against your guarantor to recover your debt from them.

SPEAK TO YOUR LENDER

As always when your financial circumstances change for the worse, it is vitally important to speak to your lender as soon as possible. They should be able to talk you through your options and advise on the next course of action.
Lenders are becoming more sympathetic to divorce cases, and may provide a temporary payment holiday while you sort through the situation.
It may also help your case if you have drawn up a full budget to demonstrate you can afford the extended mortgage repayments.
Yorkshire Building Society previously offered the Fresh Start mortgage range, aimed at divorcees, which recognised the fact that repayments may need to be minimal for a while after a break up. It offered a mortgage deal fixed at 0% for six months, rising to a fixed rate of 7.29% for five years thereafter.
However, this range was pulled last year, meaning that there are now no specialist mortgages designed for divorcees. Instead, you will need to speak to your individual lender to see if and how they can help.
If you'd like to get professional advice, speak to a mortgage broker. They should be able to guide you through the process of removing your partner from the mortgage.

Source:- https://www.lovemoney.com/guides/3482/how-a-divorce-affects-your-mortgage



Tuesday, 3 March 2015

What Divorce Means For Your Mortgage

Going through a divorce when you have an outstanding mortgage with your partner can be a big worry - knowing what might happen to your home can make it less stressful. Here's a rundown of your possible options.
young  couple with marital difficulties
More and more people are splitting from their spouses or partners - in fact nearly 50% of marriages now end in divorce - and when they do the fate of the family home can be a highly emotive subject.
Not only does the property represent a significant financial investment but it may also be the home where children have been raised and the family based over the years.
Exactly what happens to your mortgage will largely depend on your plans for the property and your individual circumstances.

Paying the mortgage

If you are going through a divorce and have moved out of the family home you may wonder if you need to keep paying the mortgage.
It's worth remembering that when two people take out a joint mortgage both are agreeing to be equally liable for the debt for the duration of the mortgage, not just while you live there.
In other words both you and your partner are responsible for ensuring the mortgage continues to be paid, and as a result any failure to pay on time will damage you and your partner's credit history.
This situation can sometimes lead to one person refusing to pay; threatening to do this can ultimately backfire if a court has to make a ruling on the divorce at a later date.

Contact you bank

As soon as you know you will be separating you should contact your bank - especially if you think you may struggle to meet your mortgage payments until the divorce is finalised.
Due to the frequency of divorce and separations most banks are more sympathetic than in years gone by and may even be willing to offer payment holidays to couples going through a separation.
While this can give you some breathing time while dealing with the initial separation, the original mortgage agreement will still be in place and a long term solution will need to be reached.

Your options

Going forward there are usually 3 broad options for couples with a mortgage;
1. Sell up and Move out
If both you and your partner will be moving out of the property then often the easiest way to move forward is to sell the house and pay off the mortgage.
This can provide a clean break and be the least messy way of moving on after a separation.
In these circumstances any equity left after the mortgage has been paid off will be considered a marital asset and split between the two of you.
Exactly who gets what from the leftover funds can be open to dispute, often the quickest (and cheapest) way is to reach an agreement between the two of you about who gets what.
If you can't reach an agreement then the matter would be need to be settled in the divorce court, where you would need to seek legal advice on your rights.
2. Keep the property & Buying out the other party
If either you or your partner intends to live in the home then chances are you will need to come to a solution that transfers ownership to the occupier.
Transferring the mortgage into one name will involve one partner buying the others share in the property, including their share of any equity involved.
The first hurdle you'll face is proving that the occupier will be able to afford the mortgage on their own - remember the existing lender is under no obligation to remove either of you or to transfer the mortgage to one name.
However, if you can satisfy your lender that you can afford the mortgage then chances are that they will agree to you becoming the sole mortgage holder.
You will then need to buy your ex-partner's share in the property before the mortgage can be put into your name - this may involve getting the current value assessed to determine the level of equity in the property.
Again if you need to borrow money to fund purchasing your partner's share you would need to prove that you could afford the additional borrowing.
Moving your joint mortgage into just one name can provide the same financial break as selling up while keeping ownership of your existing home.
However there are several obstacles to overcome and if there is some dispute over the value of the property or the level of equity due to your partner you could find yourself in court to negotiate a settlement.
3. Continue Paying Existing Mortgage
In some circumstances you may decide to continue paying the existing mortgage, especially if you don't have long left and the divorce is on good terms.
If you are considering this option you would need to ensure that both you and your partner can continue to afford to pay the mortgage and any other living costs.
This may also be a good option for the mid-term if you mortgage is fixed for a number of years and would mean you'd pay high mortgage charges to move elsewhere.

Negative Equity

If you are facing a divorce while your joint home is in negative equity then your options are likely to be restricted due to your inability to sell the home to pay off the mortgage in full.
In this situation you should speak to your mortgage provider to discuss your options, it may be that you will have to split the outstanding debt between you or come to an agreement with your mortgage provider.
Remember unless you act the joint mortgage will remain in place which will hold you equally liable for mortgage repayments.
Again if you are uncertain you should seek independent legal advice.

Seek Advice

Each of these solutions can appeal to separating couples in different circumstances, for example if there are no children involved then selling the property and cutting your losses may prove the best option.
However if property is the family home then either you or your partner may want to continue living there to reduce the impact of the divorce on your children.
Whatever option you are considering, you should seek independent advice on your circumstances; there are several charities that can explain what you will need to do and point you in the direction of legal advice if required.

No name on the Deed?

If you are separating from your partner and your name is not on the mortgage or deed of the house that does not mean that you have no rights or claim on the property.
When it comes to divorce in the UK the matrimonial home is considered a joint asset and you cannot be forced to leave by your partner.
If your name is not on the mortgage or deed you can register your matrimonial rights through the Land Registry to stop your partner selling without your consideration.
However, it is worth noting that if your partner owned the property before your marriage then you'll have little legal claim to it when it comes to divorce proceedings.
If you find yourself in this situation you should seek legal advice to determine exactly where you stand.

Disagreements & Legal rulings

Ultimately if your divorce has not proved as amicable as you had hoped and there is some dispute over who is entitled to what then you may be faced with going to court.
You should be aware that very rarely is it a case of a simple 50/50 split when divorce proceedings head to the courts.
Courts take into consideration a wide range of circumstances when making a decision on what happens to the marital home.
If there are children then their well-being will be the primary concern of the court, they will also consider both parties' financial circumstances when making a decision.
If your divorce has reached this stage then you will need to seek independent legal advice, while this can be a time consuming and expensive undertaking, it is the only realistic option you have when faced with a trip to court.

Remember to consider other financial assets

From an emotional perspective the fate of your home is likely to be at the top of the agenda when it negotiating a divorce, however you should also consider what will happen to other financial assets as well.
Most people believe the home represents their biggest marital asset, yet depending on age and individual circumstances pension funds that you have built up over the course of your marriage may actually be worth more.
It's important to take these other assets into account when discussing the fate of your marital home.
For step by step information on coping with the financial impact of divorce or separation take a look at our guide: How to get a fair financial divorce settlement.

Source:- http://www.money.co.uk/article/1006150-what-divorce-means-for-your-mortgage.htm