A marriage is a very strange thing in a way as people, including friends and relatives, don't really believe that marriages can fail.
This statement is related to those who are friends and relatives who observe the behaviour of marriage partners they know.
An example of this is when a male partner, after many years of marriage, says he is unhappy and, lo and behold, moves out not long after. Fortunately, in this example, the female partner had been overly miserable for years but never had the guts to do anything about it.
The story unfolding from this sad event was that the jilted partner's mutual friends had observed unusual encounters of the spouse with other possible partners but hadn't prepared or warned their friend of what they had seen.
The jilted partner would rather have liked to have known, because her dissatisfaction with the relationship had far outlived what her partner had got up to. Had her devoted friends told her before, perhaps new lives could have been sought earlier.
Allegedly, the first mutual friend had known from around the date that the male partner had voiced dissatisfaction. This mutual friend had already been told and sworn to secrecy. It was only after he had moved out that the truth was revealed and that was over a cup of coffee on neutral grounds.
If friends see something positive in another friend's relationship they are eager to share it, but if what they have seen is going to be a disadvantage to their friend they won't divulge it, but swear to themselves they will keep it secret.
There are some friends of course, mutual or otherwise, who might not support the behaviour of some of their friends, but know what they have observed is not quite right and could be upsetting. They still might not act, even though their friend is obviously being kept in the dark and would probably have liked to have known in advance.
One of the worst things that could happen is when the illicit partner asks a mutual friend how the other partner would feel if confronted with a divorce. This friend may respond how he or she thinks fit but the other mutual friend never gets told.
One would have thought that this so called mutual friend could have been loyal to both partners and if afraid to be totally truthful could have at least hinted that something was probably not quite right.
Sometimes just being a little bit truthful does help the other partner prepare, especially if she, in this case, may have children to consider.
Even in this world, where seemingly anything goes, there is still a stigma attached to the person who appears to be the victim in an impending divorce as if there is something odd about the person. Divorce statistics indicate that there is nothing odd about being a victim.
If your relationship has got to the point that separation and divorce are inevitable, contact an experienced family lawyer to ensure your rights are upheld in a divorce settlement.
My Aussie Divorce is your toolbox of divorce resources and valuable information. You can access a number of fantastic resources to handle your family law matters most effectively http://www.aussiedivorce.com.au/myaussiedivorce/
This article is by Alan A Weiss and can be read here:-
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