Screw Her In The Divorce

As ideal as it sounds to have a nice amicable divorce and play the gentlemanly role during the financial discussions of a shattered marriage, let’s be honest; the reality is usually anything but nice and friendly in these situations. Once you’ve accepted this — and recognized that your raging, lunatic, soon-to-be ex will come after you and try to hit you where it hurts — you need to learn how to step in time with the very same game that she’s playing, which means you must learn how to screw her in the divorce.

Be warned, however, that doing shady things that are borderline illegal during a divorce — like trying to hide your money in offshore accounts — are no good. Those funds will be found and you will not exactly earn the respect or gain credibility points with anyone involved, such as divorce lawyers, your ex-wife, mediators, judges, friends, and family.

Surprisingly, if you were blinded by love and didn’t draft a prenup, there are a variety of very ethical and sensible tactics that you can employ to protect your stash. And if you execute them correctly, you might actually come out on top in terms of cash and making her feel like she raked you over the coals in the divorce. If you’d like to take her to the cleaners, read on to learn how to screw her in the divorce.

Screw her with the house

Guys can be just as emotionally attached to a house as a woman. And while it may be a tough decision, you should let the house go. Women tend to be more emotional about a ”home” and are more greatly affected by the prospect of giving up the house; it’s a big deal in their minds. When you give up the home, you may be able to get additional financial concessions just because she wants it. More importantly, the courts treat the house as a number and it will be considered as such when the financial statements are prepared. If you have some equity built up in the house, half of that is yours and she may have to write you a check for that amount or offer concessions equivalent to that. If you have no equity in the house, what’s the worst thing that can happen? You get nothing, while she gets the house and a fat mortgage — that’s not a bad way to screw her in the divorce. Granted, you may not get anything extra, but at least you won’t be saddled with a hefty mortgage payment once the divorce is final.

Screw her out of your business

If you have your own business, you likely want to keep 100% of it. If you do not have your own business and always dreamed of starting one, divorce is a perfect time to start one as there are numerous and helpful tax benefits and savings that can be had — in addition to screwing her in the divroce. If you just hand over half of the business to your ex-wife, you could be on the hook for 50% of the profits for the life of the business, meaning that you're getting screwed in the divorce. Additionally, should you work to make the business valuable, your ex-wife, as 50% owner, gets to share in those profits and can be a meddlesome force in your business affairs.

We have two more ways to screw her in the divorce…

It might be painful, but find a way to retain 100% of the controlling interest of your company, even if it means coming up with some form of a cash payment or taking on some more of your shared debt as part of the divorce settlement. Your business, if it is your primary source of income, is your bread and butter. Furthermore, apart from just having her out of your life when it comes to this issue, only you will reap the rewards should your business take off. However, if a stipulation exists in your settlement that disclaims that her income will increase if your business’ revenues increase, there are options that allow you to live a better lifestyle than her — and that's truly a way to screw her in the divorce. You can stick it to her with legitimate business expenses, such as travel, entertainment and your car, that allow you to improve the quality of your life without improving hers thanks to your 100% stake in the company.

Screw her with the debt

Most of your shared assets are subject to a strict 50-50 rule in the majority of states. And debts are typically no different. If an agreement can not be made, the judge will basically split the debt equally between the two parties. Any liability account, such as a credit card balance or car payment, that has both of your names on it belongs to both parties, regardless of who caused the most damage. During the divorce proceedings, play this card to your advantage. It is certainly not suggested to go out and waste a bunch of money believing that she will have to foot half the bill; financial responsibility needs to be exercised and if your behavior appears to be a malicious attempt to steal from her, it will become an issue in the court. However, consider paying your attorney and your normal expenses with your shared credit cards. Odds are that she’s paying the attorney with shared funds and if you are using cash to pay your lawyer, you might get stuck with half of her bill in the end of the divorce. Do as we suggest and you’ll at least make it equal ground while you still get to screw her in the divorce. In the unlikely event that she was ”kind” enough to pay with cash borrowed from her parents, she’ll get hit with 50% of your legal fees.

Screw her with the cash

It is usually suggested to just split up any stocks or investments during a divorce. It is certainly easier. But before calling your broker to make the transfer, you should consider paying off your ex-wife with some cash, now. First, she may hate your stocks anyway, so she might be openly receptive to this idea. Stocks have historically outperformed cash in the bank by a long shot, which means that it’s in your best interest to part with some cash now. Sure, she might get a few bucks up front, but that will likely be spent before it has had time to mature. Furthermore, you may also be able to borrow against your stocks at a favorable interest rate to write the check to her for the cash amount. Margin debt can certainly be risky, but imagine being able to pay her with someone else’s money while you keep all of the better-performing assets. That sounds like a win for you, because securing your future wealth is definitely a way to screw her in the divorce.

sweet revenge

Divorce is never a pleasant thing. Despite its potential to be a new beginning, the procedures are never a fun experience. Do your best to be upfront with your financial situation and you should earn a lot of points and respect from your ex. Blatantly trying to cheat the system will only work against you. Strategically planning to ensure your financial security can be done legitimately, fairly and even give the appearance that you are getting the raw end of the deal. Screw her in the divorce, but keep your dignity intact.

Source:- http://uk.askmen.com/money/investing_150/194_investing.html