With divorce statistics at an all-time high and one in four families now headed by single parents, it seems more spouses than ever are scarpering rather than staying the course. No-one is proud of their relationship ending, but it happens. This is because there comes a moment – a moment you know in your heart it’s over.
Despite all your protestation, all your fighting to keep it going, all your reasoning and arguing and begging for things to be sorted / him or her to come home / stop losing their temper / be reasonable – you realise you’re finally done.
For me, it was when my husband told me he wanted to buy a bike for himself and our son, but we couldn’t afford one for me. He dressed it up, of course - his idea being that they could go out together to give me time alone to write, but I didn’t buy that either.
It wouldn’t be the first time he’d made me feel so dejected and it really wasn’t the last. Inside, something died and I, at last, sussed that to keep trying to save our marriage was futile. Something so little said so much and the writing was painted on the wall.
In time, though, this would prove to be a good thing.
With him working away, it was possible to limp on for a couple of years yet - before some of his behaviour started to affect our son and the courage eventually came to ask him to leave. We’d even made another baby, in the determined efforts not to break our little unit apart, but years of yearning to be treated as an equal, enduring rejection and humiliation or clever and consistent put downs can all boil down to breaking point for some of us.
Older Single Mum blogger, AnyaOlder Single Mum blogger, Anya
Several scenarios surfaced when I asked around. We all feel that protecting the youngsters is paramount, but lots of people were ashamed of how much they’d put up with in their efforts not to inflict the pain of a separation of divorce upon them. It takes guts and desperation to walk away from your childrens’ father or mother, however, especially if it means uprooting them, so, instead, they can give themselves credit for doing everything they could. That turning point can be a long time coming and will for ever be a reference - one they can live with, that gives them the confidence to get out and, crucially, during the years to come, a clear conscience.
For some, the moment they know it’s over can be quite cut and dried – seeing their child flying across a room, for example, or trying to answer a two year old asking why Daddy told Mummy to F*ck off. That’s not a nice conversation to be having, even with your older kids and many a death knell has sounded for a marriage during those.
Much more subtle than the plain courtesy of ’I don’t love you anymore’ is when a simple silence speaks volumes. A mum of three I know, after much stonewalling, challenged her husband on whether they should properly split up. His hesitation rather than the instantaneous assurance to the contrary she craved told her everything she needed to know. Another mother confided that when her partner left the tops on her boiled eggs, rather than remove them as he did his own and their childrens’, it wasn’t only her yolks that hardened.
And a friend admitted that when her estranged husband held a heavy door open for the kids to pass through, but deliberately allowed it to quietly close in her face, it finally forced her to accept that their separation was probably more permanent than she had hitherto hoped. That one hits you on so many levels.
Often, things are less obvious, but the instant it’s over is certainly no less powerful. It took a lonely man a while to work out that his girlfriend was ‘going to college’ more nights a week than her course was really running and after a couple of months of ‘playing happy families,’ endeavouring to save their marriage since her husband’s affair, another lady ultimately saw the light when doing the laundry. She couldn’t stand how polite everything had become and decided to throw in one of their (probably unfolded) towels.
Plus the pronouncement of an estranged partner moving back in ‘suddenly made it blisteringly clear’ to another person, that, actually, they had all been far better off living apart, so, sadly, they’re heading for the divorce courts too.
Life’s never as simple as that Taylor Swift song when children are involved. Many a couple can tick along in a situation that is barely tolerable, but, evidently and increasingly, not so many stay the course. Some of us scarper or withdraw because there comes a moment - a moment you know in your heart it’s over, you realise you’re finally done.
In time, though, this can prove to be a good thing.
If are going through a separation you can find support and advice at Netmums. Read more about separating, or find support as a single parent.

Source:- http://www.netmums.com/parenting-support/divorce-and-separation/the-moment-you-know